She smiles shyly from up high and, while struggling with hands and reigns and horse, repeats, "I don't think the horse is happy…"
I watch for a moment as she argues within herself and it shows in her weak hands and the way the horse rebels against her timid leading. She is at war inside--she knows I'm watching and she wants to please me by doing what I have taught her to do, yet fear of making the horse "unhappy" restrains her from doing the right thing (right thing = require the horse to obey).
"Can you make the horse happy?"
She doesn't know.
"You can't make the horse happy," I explain, "That's his choice. By trying to make him happy you only grow his sense of entitlement and discontent."
She nods, but her body language doesn't change.
I try again, "Instead of trying to make the horse happy, just focus on doing one thing--the right thing--the thing I've taught you to do."
She tries again, growing determined now to do the one job.
By the end of the lesson, she is succeeding, and how interesting that the horse himself seems to be much happier too!
In Luke 10, the Bible tells us of two sisters named Martha and Mary, who invite Jesus into their home. Mary sits down at the feet of Jesus and does not move. Martha runs around cooking, cleaning and hosting while Mary sits and soaks in every word Jesus speaks, apparently oblivious to her sister's work load! Eventually Martha, reasonably annoyed at her sister for not helping her, intreats Jesus:
"Lord dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me."
Martha is flustered. Like my student, she was trying to do too many things at once and ultimately losing all control. Jesus saw this, and He answers her,
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." (Luke 10: 40b-42 emphasis mine)
"But one thing is needful".
Only one necessary job to do.
The attitude of a disgruntled horse, angry child or crude coworker does not rest on us to fix. We have only one job to do:
to be Godly.
