Lessons From Reva: Misjudging

Let's talk about Reva again.  She has some good things to teach us about character judgments.  Have you ever had a first impression about someone that turned out to be completely wrong when you got to know them?  What about a friend you've known for several years who does some things you can't understand, and then they allowed you into some deep places from their past and suddenly it all made sense?

I already talked about the way Reva runs away in the pasture, and how she hangs back when being led out of her comfort zone.  She's somewhat of a loner in the herd too.  While the other horses will often challenge each other and buck the chain of authority, Reva avoids conflict as much as possible.  I rarely find teeth marks on her.

There's another thing Reva does that is hard to understand.  She has something against fence posts.  She doesn't like to walk up to the post and sometimes refuses to step forward.  It's not as bad now, but she used to spook and take fits when tied up to the post.  The smallest things would set her off, and sometimes there didn't appear to be anything that spooked her; it's like something inside her head just snapped.  She would lunge backwards and pull against the post with all her strength.  She still does that every so often.  Our horse trainer has worked with Reva on overcoming this problem, and she would stand tied without a problem for months, and then she'd have another episode.  Because of the tremendous force of her pulling back, she could potentially hurt herself or someone near her or pull a post out of the ground.  So we usually loop her rope over the fence rather than tie.  That way if she feels she needs a sudden getaway, she can go without making it a big deal.  We don't know what is in Reva's past, but there's a good chance that she was injured or abused while tied, and the memory of that trauma is still in her head.  Horses don't forget.  If they are raised with kindness and common sense, never given a reason to be scared of you, they will trust you and will easily trust other people as well.  But do something to break that trust, and you can never erase the memory.  A horse that has been traumatized by a past owner will take much longer to learn to trust a new person.

I think Reva trusts the staff here, because we have worked long and patiently with her and haven't given her reason to distrust us.  But the old pain is still there.  And sometimes the memory of that trauma takes over her brain and her fear instinct kicks in.  In that moment, the fear is greater than the trust relationship that we have built with her.  This makes me want to cherish the trust that someone puts in me and be so very careful not to break it.

From all of Reva's drama, I could conclude that she is timid, nervous, unfriendly, and has too many fear issues to be of use to me.  But I don't know her past.  I don't know what she's been through or come out of.  One of the staff who was here when Reva first came to the ranch remembers what she used to be like.  He said when you went to catch her, she wouldn't run away or come to you; she would just stand there and stare at you with listless eyes, as if she'd been used for so long that she didn't care anymore.  And she was absolutely terrified of the fence posts.  Compared to a few years ago, Reva has come a long way.  And if I could have known her then, I would understand how much she has changed.  Now I realize that when she runs in the pasture, she's expressing her personality, something she didn't do when she first came.  She actually cares about what happens to her.  Sometimes she may just feel really good and is playing catch me if you can!  If she's testing us to see how far we will pursue her, then it shows she is willing to be in relationship, but is a little unsure.  She is thinking and feeling and responding to us, instead of just going through the motions because she's been terrified into submission.  She is truly a sweet and willing horse when you get to know her.  And she responds beautifully to people who handle her with sensitivity and confidence.  You can't judge a book, a horse, or a person by their cover.

"For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  1 Samuel 16:7